Memories of Being Clumsy…

• I don’t wear white.

 

• People who are familiar with my clumsy ways (either because they have been the object of my clumsiness or because they have been told) slowly moving sharp objects, filled glasses or anything that could spill, hurt or damage something/someone away from me.

 

• Being introduced to a friend of a friend and our mutual friend saying we would get along with each other, as we are both clumsy.

 

• Telling someone I was clumsy and their reply being “Really you don’t look clumsy” Is that a compliment?

 

• When I was a baby,  I kicked my dad in the face whilst we were both sleeping.

 

• Pouring a large coke with ice over a man’s head, as I was trying to balance it between two large popcorns. The people in the cinema didn’t appreciate his shriek and he didn’t appreciate me. Even as I’m writing this I am still shaking my head now with more laughter and less embarrassment.

 

• As a kid I bumped my head 6 times in the same place on the dresser, caused by doing the same thing; jumping up and a down on my bed. My mum referred to me as hard- headed,  I believe in the physical and metaphorical sense.

 

• Working in a restaurant as a waitress and surprisingly only dropping things about 20 times and burning myself twice; not bad for a 2 year stint.

 

• My mum asking in her no so subtle way, if I thought it was a good idea to work in a restaurant.

 

• Spaghetti and I don’t get along. I want to eat it and in protest, before it can reach my mouth it tends to drop on the floor.

 

• Walking down the road and tripping over an uneven pavement. My friend who was walking with me, tried to catch my fall but her being clumsy too tripped over the pavement and fell on top of me.

 

• I once dropped my phone into the toilet twice within a space of 5 minutes, it is no longer with us; RIP.

 

• People saying to be careful when I am using a knife, pouring a drink, near something hot, or balancing something or someone. It is like they are pre-empting fate.

 

• I am surprisingly not clumsy at all when looking after children.

 

• Why do some people think if you’re clumsy you’re not smart? My co-ordination is a bit off but my intelligence isn’t.

 

• Maybe we should have clumsiness anonymous meetings……..actually no, forget that… let’s  just embrace it and continue to knock down a few glasses, chairs, people, plates, phones etc..

 

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR MEMORIES…

 

Memories of having a phone made before 2009 (Nokia 6610i)

–          I have dropped the phone more times than I have fingers and toes and it still is working, yes scarred and chipped but still works.

–          I love that when I press the buttons on my phone I hear the buttons; I definitely know I am dialling a number then and also when I have accidentally dialled someone. Touch screen is not always the best.

–          I don’t ever have to worry about someone thieving my phone, I have left my phone in toilets, restaurants, parks and it has always been there when I have returned.

–          I refer to my phone as my vintage baby; it’s cute, durable, and keeps coming back to me.

–          I can only buy a replacement battery on eBay , those mobile  phone shops that are within a dry cleaners or a sweet shop. On eBay, an online seller even listed the battery as rare; took it as a compliment. So my phone has rare status…not a lot of phones have that.

–          I cannot send picture messages even though I can take pictures.

–          I cannot receive picture messages either; I however do receive a text from T-mobile telling me I have 10 days to go to their website to view the picture that was sent to me.

–          My phone is a Nokia …………; Nokia is referred to as vintage.

–          The camera‘s megapixel, I think has to be A megapixel as the detail of the photo cannot be seen on the screen.

–          I didn’t realise how big screens could be until I saw those android/iphone Samsung appey phones.

–          My VB is slowly slowing down, I can only get signal in certain places  in my house and the street, standing underneath a tree, it’s not helpful; which now gives me delays in texts.

–          When I was lost, I asked someone if they knew a street they politely replied can you not use your phone to find it, after I showed them mine, they smiled and said let me help you.

–           Verbal Comments about my phone have been :

I didn’t know they made phones like that still” (no they don’t anymore but it may mean I have kept mine since it came out).

“Oh I remember this phone, it was my first phone”

“Does the phone have snake on it?” No

“Oh did your phone break?” ( assuming I am using this as my in the meantime phone)

“Why don’t you get an iphone?”( But I have a phone)

–          I have to charge my phone daily.

–          People double taking when my phone comes out of my bag.

–          When a guy asks you for your BB pin instead of your number? Even if I had one you wouldn’t be having it, speak to me. Keep it Vintage!!!

–          My dad was doing a clear out last week and found a portable charger(size of a keying) that charges any Nokia phone, he said it must of had it for about 7 years, guess what I got in my bag now (when I remember)! No more looking for plugs.

–          Feeling a bit out of my depth when trying to dial  a number on a friends iphone/Samsung/ HTC whatever you call those phones with apps on them.

–          H.T.C- Heavier, technological complication.

–          Having my friend Cherrelle who is still holding the side down, with her similar  old-school  phone to mine,  woop woop!!

–          My motto that simple is best, and that it usually is true to this phone.

–          Funny thing is the phone  I have now is actually more new than the one I had previously, however that broke in half ( long story).

–          It is really hard to find a working phonebox in London and when you do, gone are the days when you just put 10p to make a call. It is minimum of 60p, which is good if you are dialling a landline as it lasts for 15mins however barely a 2 minute mobile conversation.

–          It is so much easier to dial a number and then to call, whereas the newer phones have an option of do you want to make the call via Skype.

–          My phone has allowed me to learn a lot of my contacts numbers off by heart as the battery dies pretty quickly.

                       

Memories of being 5’1 3/4 (156.84cm)

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The fact that I am 5’1 ¾ ,but if I say that, I sound ironically like I am trying to big up my height. So I just say I am 5’2, sounds better, less syllables too and leaves more room on the doctor’s forms.

How the short guys in the club always look at the heels you’re wearing and if they feel without the heels you are below or their height, it’s on! Well stepping to you at least

I am always weary of when short guys approach me as I am wondering do they want me for my looks or my height.

A lot of fast food counters (not the world-famous ones) the local London ones, their counters are too high. I still have to tip toe to order food at times.

People in concerts don’t mind me standing in front of them.

Knowing a few celebrities who are around my height, so getting hints on what suits me and doesn’t through their trial and error and to be fair my own. Error: Full-length coat a no no, made me look like a smaller version of shaft.

A usual length mini skirt will never be a usual length mini skirt on me.

The majority of bikes I have to choose to either have my feet on the floor and not sit properly on the seat, or sit properly on the seat with my feet not being able to touch the floor;  that goes for those Boris bikes too.

Being one of the tallest in my primary school and then by the 2nd year of secondary school I was one of the shortest in my year.

Tall people always thinking I am 5’0 or below, as I look that small to them.

Having to think twice about dating a guy over 6’1 and 3/4………….as it means he will be a foot taller than me.

How some tall people bend or go into a I am just about to squat position, to talk to you.

I find it hard to give my friends who are  over 5’10 proper arms over shoulder hugs, so it ends up being a squeeze your waist hug, that’s do-able.

Short people who haven’t acclimatised to being short, calling me really short then coming to find out they are shorter than me.
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Two of my closest friends are smallies, just happened that way.

Someone telling my when I was 21 that I couldn’t be 21 as I was so short.

My friend and I, her being 5’1 exactly, were asked if we were sisters ( we are not even the same race), we said no, his response was, oh because you are both so short.

People tend to be more willing to help you put your bag in the over- head compartment ( I wrote that thinking with an air-hostess voice).

You’re so cute!!! Am I? Or is it because I am 5’2 (nearly).

Seeing countless times, when people see a short adult from the back,  being surprised she/he is an adult when they turn around.

Having a young face and being short works in my favour sometimes, you can get discounts on some things but also get constantly asked for ID.

The petite range in most shops are for women 5’3 and under, but that’s like to me one size fits all. A petite jeans with my 5’1 ¾ self does not fit a 4’10 lady, such as one size doesn’t fit all.